[Patient:] I've always had the impression that everyone who I meet and towards whom I create emotions knows me instantly. Every now and then it occurs to me that it is a deceiving sentiment. I am as strange to an other as he is to me. This comes to life especially in the face of a loss... I have to admit, painfully: "we didn't know each other after all".
[Freud:] Mourning is regularly the reaction to the loss of a loved person, or to the loss of some abstraction which has taken the place of one, such as one's country, liberty, ideal and so on. --- Melancholia too may be the reaction to the loss of a loved object. Where the exciting causes are different one can recognize that there is a loss of a more ideal kind. The object has not perhaps actually died, but has been lost as an object of love (e.g. in the case of a bethrothed girl who has been jilted). In yet another case one feels justified in maintaining the belief that a loss of this kind has occured, but one cannot see clearly what it is that has been lost, and it is all the more reasonable to suppose that the patient cannot consciously perceive what he has lost either.
Tuttuuden ja vierauden kääntyessä toisiaan vasten, asettuessa toistensa paikoille, illuusiot romahtavat. Ja noiden illuusioiden menetys aiheuttaa kipua. Toisaalta tuttuuden ja vierauden välinen ambivalenssi pitää yllä elämää: vieraus mahdollistaa idealisaation, tuttuus kiskoo ihanteita alaspäin, takaisin maailman tasolle.